16/12/13

Today is Monday. I decided to start this blog as a way of getting the stuff in my head out of it at least for a while.  It all fells like balls of wool jumbled up together so this might help unravel it a little bit.  At some point I might do a "proper" first post but for now I am just jumping straight into today....

I am feeling anxious and panicky at the moment.  My heart is racing and my chest is sore.  I am very tired.  I was out in the car a little earlier and saw a police car by the side of the road.  A car had obviously knocked a cyclist over.  I started panicking about what if I knocked someone over, what would happen to them?  What would happen to me? How would I cope being questioned?  I felt so sick and shaky that I had to abandon my trip and come home.

Tonight I have to take child number 1 to a concert at school.  I am panicking about that.  I didn't take the children to school this morning because I couldn't face the crowds.  Don't know how tonight is going to be but I don't want to let child down.

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